As the crowd drifted in, Ron Gambell, co-owner of the Brightwood Tavern, mused: “I knew Mountain people were slow, but ...” That set the tone for the annual Slug Races held Aug. 20 at the local bar-restaurant.

The stage was set as locals brought their sluggish entrants into the patio area
and the Slug Queen hopefuls waited for the announcement of the new carrier
of the crown.

Slugs were entered in three divisions, light, middle and heavyweights. They
included such notables as Escar-goo, Slugateriat, Shorty, Slime Bucket, Slow
Dancer and Spee-dy.

The mollusks worked their way through early trials to reach the finals. The
races were breathtaking as riveted onlookers offered their enthusiastic
support.

“That’s not slime behind mine, that’s a vapor trail.”

“I got a photo of mine, but it was kinda blurry.”

Spee-dy won the heavyweight division, Escar-goo oozed to the middleweight
crown, and Slugetariat slipped by the other lightweights.

In the finals, Spee-dy, a mighty mollusk that had many doubting his breeding
– saying there had to be a snake in the closet – put the more reasonably sized
slugs to shame.

Spee-dy’s handler, Todd Watkins, was not surprised by his hefty friend’s
exploits, and was glad to grab the slug racing title rather than the queen’s
event.

“When he moved across my deck, I could tell he was a good one,” Watkins
said. “And while it’s a step down, I suppose, from being the Slug Queen, at
least I don’t have to wear that crown for the next year.”

The Slug Queen crown went to Al White, who lapped the field in voting. He
had mixed feelings about the honor.

“It’s obvious the good lord don’t love me no more,” White said. “But the devil
owns me. This year, I’m going to bring an invasion of slugs to the Mountain
the likes of which no one has ever seen before.

“And to my voters: I hate ‘em all!”

Marta Tarrants, who has served the last year as the Slug Queen, was gracious
– and only slightly tongue-in-cheek – as she handed over the title.

“It’s been an honor and a blast (eyebrow raised),” she said. “It’s time for
someone else to bask in the glory.”

Gambell wrapped up the affair.

“It’s great to carry on a fine tradition for a community cause,” he said.

Proceeds for the annual event were donated to the Hoodland Women’s Club.

The slugs went back where they belonged. There is no imperical evidence that
Spee-dy was put out to stud.